The mild irritation
The wish for destruction
is that I am stuck at a station
waiting for a train
called ‘relieve me of this pain’.
I am stuck at a station without explanation
is a cage
until I light the torch that turns the page.
The next chapter is exciting
this is the part I find the hidden passage.
I was standing on it all this time
in that cage
in that station
of general mild aggravation
but it wasn’t mild
and now with a torch I see the door underfoot
and I open it to the deep deep depths of darkness
grief and fear are near,
do i descend?
Do I follow this path to the end?
Layers of earth and layers of emotions
Layers of time and layers of life
Layers of hurt and layers of strife
mine and ours and ours and mine.
Ancestors come to mind and how they chose time and time
and time and on
the same choices
all the same conclusions gone.
I am descending I am past suppressing.
I am challenging mine and ours and ours and mine
It was not ok to hurt me that way even though you hurt in that way and you would say I hurt cause you hurt and then the whole world
So no, it’s not ok- it is not the same
I have left the station
I was yelling and screaming and banging the cage of rage
I raged out my mild aggravation, but it wasn’t mild at all.
I hit the cage and the torch fell to my feet.
That irritation, I breathed out on fiery breath from the depths,
call me dragon.
And so I’ve lit the torch
I am descending
to get to the ending
to the fiery core
warming my soul to
love from truth
truth to love.