oneveronica

on the way

Month: March, 2014

On Anger

The mild irritation
The aggravation

The wish for destruction

The implication
is that I am stuck at a station
waiting for a train
called ‘relieve me of this pain’.
I am stuck at a station without explanation
The rage
is a cage
until I light the torch that turns the page.
The next chapter is exciting
this is the part I find the hidden passage.
I was standing on it all this time
in that cage
in that station
of general mild aggravation
but it wasn’t mild
and now with a torch I see the door underfoot
and I open it to the deep deep depths of darkness
grief and fear are near,
do i descend?
Do I follow this path to the end?
Layers of earth and layers of emotions
Layers of time and layers of life
Layers of hurt and layers of strife
mine and ours and ours and mine.
Ancestors come to mind and how they chose time and time
and time and on
the same choices
all the same conclusions gone.
I am descending I am past suppressing.
I am challenging mine and ours and ours and mine
It was not ok to hurt me that way even though you hurt in that way and you would say I hurt cause you hurt and then the whole world
is blind.
So no, it’s not ok- it is not the same
I have left the station
I was yelling and screaming and banging the cage of rage

I raged out my mild aggravation, but it wasn’t mild at all.

I hit the cage and the torch fell to my feet.

That irritation, I breathed out on fiery breath from the depths,

call me dragon.

And so I’ve lit the torch
I am descending
to get to the ending
to the fiery core
burning tears
burning fears
warming my soul to
love
to truth
love from truth
truth to love.

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On telling stories

I approach this medium with some hesitation and fear of being misunderstood. As a performer I depend on my body language and tone to convey most of my true meaning. Without sharing a space with you how am I really going to be able to convey my experience, or offer the full essence of whatever story I do choose to share in this medium? I feel this is an experiment in experience. It is also an experiment in story, what happens when I offer up my unrefined bits of story in The Great Story through this medium? Often I am grateful for reading someone else’s thoughts/words/phrases, as it opens up a feeling inside of me to uncover more about myself and the world. ┬áSo I hope I can offer some of that to whomever stumbles upon this collection of stories. I don’t assume to be profound, or poetic or puny. Sometimes, though, it just ends up that way. So if you are willing to dig through the mess, the grime, the grit and feel what I’m writing, we just might find a few diamonds.